So many kids, I don't know what to do.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

If there was an award for............

I have been regretting opening up my blog to The Coach.  He has written a couple of things that will remain drafts, but what he wrote this week I have decided to post because it is sweet and I am out of ideas. 

I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I asked Heather to write her Mother's Day post.  I don't feel it's right for a mom to write about herself on Mother's Day, she should have a day off, so I'm going to do it for her.  Besides she's busy cooking my Mother's Day lunch, cleaning the house, doing my laundry, taking care of the kids, and washing my truck right now.  HA!!!!

If there was an award for............

The Hottest Mom  my wife would kick  ass.  My wife is amazingly gorgeous.  She has given birth to five  kids and still looks like she's in her 20's.  Somehow (I don't know how and I think she's not all that intelligent sometimes), she manages to take care of five kids by herself for most of the year and still train for triathlon's.  It's amazing. 
She doesn't dress like a "mom".  She has very cute clothes.  So cute that I don't even have to pick them out for her anymore.  There's only been one time in my life that I haven't thought my wife was the hottest thing around.  That incident may or may not have involved a wedding, some wine, and some vomit.  I can't recall.

Most Items of Crusty Food in Car Heather would win this one hands down.  Before I start explaining this.  I understand her situation and basically living out of her car.  I don't want to hear any chirping from the peanut gallery.  SHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! 

I've never in my life seen someone's car such a disaster.  Seriously, when we pull up to a stoplight and there is a homeless man on the side of the road, I really just want to tell him that he can jump in the car. I'll drive around the block, and he can see how full he can get off the Pop Tart crumbs, 3/4 eaten sandwiches, middle licked out Oreo cookies, dropped french fries, half licked suckers stuck to the leather seat.  That's just from my wife's seat in the car. 

It used to drive me absolutely nuts that her car was such a mess.  I have since then realized that she is constantly in her car driving the kids somewhere.  She is awesome at getting the kids where they need to be.  They may be 45 minutes early, 10 minutes late or show up on the wrong day, but by golly, she's going to get them there.  She now does a pretty good job of cleaning it out when she gets gas.  I don't even say anything to her anymore because I know that she is doing the best she can do and she's not purposefully making messes to piss me off.  That's what I used to think. 

Loving Each of Our Kids in Their Own Special Way She would definitely win this award.  All five of our kids have their own personalities.  My wife finds a way to meet all of the kids needs.  She does piss one of them off occassionally but they all know that they can go to Momma and get some luvin'.  What she may lack in discipline from time to time, she definitely makes up in hugs and kisses.  She does a great job making them all feel special...even Tanner.

Wine Consumption She would probably win this one too.  Our wine budget used to be about $20 a week.  That's about five bottles of Yellow Tail Cabernet.  Now, because my wife can't function without a slight buzz.  (Just kidding!) our wine budget is at least $100 a week.  I don't know if it's that she is drinking more wine or that she is drinking a higher class of wine.

Wow.  Those are some dubious honors.  Let me just say. 
1. Thanks
2. chirp
3. Thanks for that too.
4. You are making me sound like a wino when the truth is that you started drinking my wine. 

I hope everyone has a great Mother's Day!


  1. Right in the middle of all that teasing is love, and lots and lots of it. What a wonderful tribute to you, Heather! Happy Mother's Day!

  2. This is great! It totally made me smile. I love the messy car award.

  3. How sweet, wino wedded bliss.

  4. This is sweet. I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day.

    I don't remember if you participate in virtual runs, if you do... I just posted one yesterday.

  5. I love it! My husband and I used to fight about the mess in the car, but honestly when you are constantly on the go it's almost impossible to keep it clean! so chirp chirp!! :)

    Kudo's on looking "hot" after birthing 5 children!!!!!!!! That is so awesome!

    and good job on the the last Sprint run (I can't remember what you called it)

  6. That was adorable! But I bet most moms would be in contention for that car prize! :)

  7. This one made me laugh out loud- very funny!


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