It never ceases to amaze me how I can pile embarrassment upon embarrassment on myself until it threatens to topple over into a humiliating heap.
My Sister in Law and her husband both work at a Baptist Church here in town. They are very sweet and live a sweet, non-embarrassing life. They have four boys in elementary school. The Cousins are great fun and a constant source of companionship to Tanner. I went over the other day to clarify a text message from Sweet Aunt. (I have revived the toilet diving phone, but I can only see half the screen.) Sweet Aunt wasn't home, but Kind Uncle was. Tanner was already there (he seems to think they have taken him to raise.) The Cousins and he were taking turns wrestling under the officiating eye of Kind Uncle. His parents, ministers of a small Baptist Church in Kansas, were looking on with the proper amount of slight, tame interest.
I however was getting very excited. It looked like great fun.
I vaguely remembered having been asked (told) by The Coach to refrain from wrestling and rough housing with the boys. He claims they are going to hurt me. (As if...........) I usually remember this request. The last time I roughhoused with Ty he said, "Stop! I am going to accidentally hurt you and then I am going to get in trouble." So I usually remember to avoid wrestling, fighting, and so forth if not out of a sense of self-preservation, or out of respect for The Coach's suggestions (demands) at least in an attempt to keep the boys out of trouble.
I wish this had been the case this time.
I yelled out, " I challenge Tanner!" Because from what I had seen that seemed to be the proper protocol. Everyone laughed and I probably should have stopped right there. Instead I actually went on to wrestle Tanner. At least he does not weigh double what I weight like Ty does. His twelve year old self weighs about fifteen pounds less than me which I thought would work in my favor. I conveniently forgot about the fact the child has wrestling practice four nights a week and spends a considerable amount of weekends at wrestling tournaments. He knows actual wrestling moves.
We took our places. He quickly twisted me up into a pretzel and I saw my triathlon career flash before my eyes. I did what any mature mom would do. I bit him. Apparently this is against the wrestling rules. Everyone laughed while we continued to scuffle.
A hush fell over my four innocent nephews, my brother in law and his very proper, quiet, sheltered parents. After a sufficient amount of awkward silence I realized this episode had reached its full entertainment potential. So I quit. I waved a good bye to everyone and headed out to the car.
On the way out I commented to Ty I thought I had done pretty well, biting aside.
My oldest child replied, "You were doing a good job right up until your boob fell out of your shirt."
I was mortified. I looked down and sure enough my vest was all bunched up and my bright purple bra was clearly visible.
I asked him why he hadn't SAID something.
He asked, "What did you want me to say? Hey mom, we can all see your boob?"
That would have been helpful.
I asked him if anyone saw.
He thought for a second and said, "Kind Uncle gasped, 'Oh no!' and then he turned and looked away. So I am thinking he did see."
The worst part of this was that later I had to explain the huge bloody rug burn on my elbow to The Coach. He just stared at me and said, "Didn't I ask you NOT to wrestle with the boys?" Yes.
In my defense though, he never asked that I not expose myself to all the Baptist ministers and young boys in the family in one fell swoop.
I blame Sweet Aunt. Had she been there this would have never happened.
What is your latest/most embarrassing moment?