So many kids, I don't know what to do.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Now I've Done It

I have gone and hired a triathlon coach. (Excitement. Excitement.  Yeah.  Yeah!)

First he told I had too many races on my schedule so I had to eliminate some.  Ok.  I have only eliminated one.  I have some decisions to make.

Then he suggested athletic testing.  I was supposed to go last Friday, but because of the blizzard of 2011, I had to reschedule.  This is supposed to help me get into the proper workout zone for........

The increased number of workouts he has planned.  Scary workouts that involve things like lactic threshold and an "easy" zone two run. (I have yet to figure out how to run and remain in zone two.  Maybe less spastic arm movements and hip displacing juts?  I am open to suggestions.) I am leaving behind the days of six workouts a week and headed to the days of nine workouts a week.   These workouts include drills and zones and weights.  Weights?!  Hopefully I am also leaving behind the days of coming in lastish!  We will see.  (Someone should clue this dude in though.   If I die, he won't get paid.)

Pictures of the half marathon just arrived in my in box.

Bad doesn't even begin to describe it.

I look like I am in the middle of the Bataan Death March instead of a 13.1 mile run. 

Don't laugh.

Ok.  Go ahead.

There is a lady who runs some of the same triathlons as I do.  She wears a full and complete coating of waterproof make up.  I think I may ask her for some tips.

Next time.  (Ha!)  Maybe I will wear a hat.  And earrings.  I am sure earrings would have made all the difference.

(Do you think it is every efficient to have my arms where they are while running?  I think probably not.)

Do you think that after I train with this coach I will look like this when I finish races??

Katie Price and Peter Andre.  I don't know who these people are.  (Someone help me out here.)  But does it LOOK like they just finished a seven hour marathon??


  1. OMGOsh! Good for you! (oh and PS NO WAY did those people run anywhere!)

  2. I don't know who those people are either and all the tips I have for you are, Holy Crap In A Basket! You are the man! I have no idea where your hands are supposed to go, I am just in awe of your IronMan self. Oh, but I will tell you, weights are the bomb. I'm a body pumper and weights will transform your body like nothing else.

  3. Congratulations! You look like a normal person!

    I remember after Katie Holmes ran a marathon, and then went out dancing about 3 seconds later. Give me a break.

  4. Peter and Kate are like Kardashians...kinda famous for no real reason. It's all about the beauty..(and the booty if you're a kardashian! LOL)

    I'm so proud of you...I wish I had the gusto to fun a marathon...or a mile for that matter. My boobs would have me the laughing stock!

  5. You still look better than me and my lard ass sitting on the couch. You rock. Seriously. I want to like to run. I just don't.

  6. I may be repeating myself because my Internet just farted out.

    Anyway, I was trying to say that if those two just ran anywhere, life is truly unfair. Athletic testing sounds like one of my nightmares. Will you have to climb a rope? Do 1,000 sit ups? What?

  7. Lol Peter Andre is a bad Australian singer from way back. Made popular by her and her too big boobs.
    They probably had a makeup artist attend to them before the shot.

    Anyway, you will survive the triathlon coach, I swear.
    I train about 12 times a week, I try three runs, three rides, three swims and three weights sessions. Running doesn't come easily to me either, it's the most painful thing I have ever done... And it will definitely make you faster.
    Oh, keep in mind I am about 94kg as well. If I can do it, so can you :)

  8. Lactic threshhold...just the term makes me nauseous.
    And hey, it doesn't matter what you look like after the training (although you're already pretty as all can be)! What does matter is that your trainer looks like that guy in the picture! Oooh la la! I'd go to my lactic threshold for that guy!

  9. Hiring a coach is a big step. Congrats!


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