So many kids, I don't know what to do.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

How to be a Perfect Wife

On the radio the other morning they were talking about a nationwide survey.  "They" has asked married men to name their number one complaint about their wives.  The radio station was letting listeners take guesses.
Not enough sex.  No.
Talk during sports.  No.

I laughed when they revealed the answer.  The Coach has been complaining about the same thing for a while.

When I got to work I emailed him to ask him what HE thought the number one complaint of married men was.
Wives don't cook well?
Wives get fat?

Then I asked him to please not guess any more.  His guesses were liable to give me a complex.  (He claims he was thinking about what OTHER guys would say...not him.)

The number one complaint of married men in the U.S. (according to this survey) is that wives' sleepwear is unnattractive.

I told The Coach the answer and he acted as if the had just won the lottery.
We have had many discussions about my pajamas which usually consist of long pajama pants which may or may not be food stained and holey, a t-shirt under a hoodie, and knee high socks.
He says, "I have a hot wife.  I would like to see some of her."   (Isn't he complimentary while he is telling me my jammies are the ugliest things in the whole world?)

So I did a survey of my own.  It was limited in scope.   I only asked me.

Why don't married women wear cuter pajamas?
1. Sometimes I consider sleeping in the fridge as a warmer alternative to sleeping in our bedroom.  I can see my breath.  The fear of frost bite will never lead to a tank top. 
2. I had a cute pair of silky pjs once upon a time and the head honcho in charge of laundry (The Coach) washed them with a pair of jeans, a hacksaw, and a brick.  They are ruined.  (Also they didn't look good with knee socks.)
3. I would rather spend money on day time clothes.  Especially boots.  Maybe we could arrange for pj allotment every paycheck.  Just an idea.

Being the nice wife I am I bought a cute pair of shorty pajamas.  It had his favorite football team, The Texans, on it and every thing.  I put them in a box and wrapped them up to give him for Christmas.  He liked the pajamas, but was upset that I packaged it as a gift for him.  (He is serious about his Christmas presents.)

I guess the number 2 complaint of married men in the U.S. is.............cruddy gifts!

Question............Do you think this is TRULY men's biggest complaint about their wives?  If not..what?


  1. First off, this post is HILARIOUS! Picturing you with silky pjs and knee socks and still laughing!
    However, I think the survey is full of crappola. The biggest complaint would be not enough sex. The men just think that if their wives wear sexier sleep wear, they are bound to get more sex. See the correlation?

  2. Yeah. I can imagine that my husband is not real fond of my holey yoga pants. I mean, they're holy to the point where you could probably stick your entire arm through this little spot just below my right butt cheek. But I don't think he realizes how comfortable they are and how hard it is for me to let go of them. Mostly because I can't find another pair.

  3. Really? This is a priority for men? They don't like my race tees? Who knew?

  4. Really? That's hilarious! I wear a t-shirt and my husband's basketball shorts. He's never said a word!

  5. Probably all they want to admit to. Seems awfully silly...even if I do sometimes fall asleep in the clothes I wore during they day...

  6. I can't stand being cold either so I look like a hobo when dressed for bed. I would think they'd complain about nagging or talking too much, but perhaps I watch too many sitcoms!

  7. LMAO! Love this post....I needed the laugh. Not sure what my hubby's primary complaint is...but he should keep it to himself. :)

  8. I totally totally think my husband would love this post. Therefore he must not find it!

    My husband has purchased a CAMO CAMISOLE. Out of desperation. I think he would have had better luck purchasing a space heater for our bedroom... ;)

  9. Before we got married my sleep wear consisted of sweats and a hoodie. I get cold. A lot.

    Right before the wedding Jason said, "Tell me you will never wear another hoodie to bed...ever."

    My promise of never again lasted about 4 days.

  10. That's ridiculous! I don't believe that!

  11. I just asked my husband and he said his biggest complaint and most men' is their wife's need for control. so in other words, he would like to stay up like a teenager and play video games and go to bed when he feels like it even if he has to work the next day...he wants to do this without me bitching at him. :) He gets plenty of sex though. I love your voice!

  12. OMG this has totally been a conversation in our house multiple time! My PJs are exactly the same as yours!

  13. I had to laugh at that answer! I just asked my husband what he thought the answer would be and he thought the biggest complaint would be wives nagging their husbands...hmmm...don't know what to think now! LOL! What is he really trying to say here? ;) He says he doesn't care about my pj choices, which is a good thing I guess! Ha!

  14. My wife wears the same type of PJs as you do. Who knew it was a "style?"

  15. Pj's was the top complaint? Wow, I never would have guessed it.

    Tks for stopping by my blog. There is nothing wrong with running on the treadmill (that is where I'm headed when I finish this comment). Personally, I think you southerners who run outside when it's above 80 are NUTS. We're probably crazy for running when it's below freezing up here. There is little middle ground, that is certain.

  16. Oh man, I am SO late in reading this post, but this has GOT to be post.of.the.YEAR.

    I love it. If I could make a cocoon in my freezing bedroom, and wear a parka over my hoodie, flannel pjs and knee socks, I would!!!!

    Love, love, love this post, LOL!


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