Wedded Bliss

 Hey.  For the first time ever I am a guest blogger over at Mom Vs. the boys.   This is a charming blog.  It has all the good things, stories about sons, reviews, give aways, and even marshmallow snowmen.  What else could a chick need?  Head on over there while you are waiting for your cookies to burn bake. 


And now back to the show.



I have been trying to write a post to honor The Coach and my fifth anniversary. 

I considered writing about our first few dating experiences, but every time I try I remember my mom reads this blog.  Then I picture her hanging her head and muttering to herself, "I did the best I could with those kids."  I am able to picture this clearly because I have seen her do it before.  It's heartbreaking.  So in order not to offend Mom who skips kissing scenes in romance novels I decided to post the following conversation with The Coach.  I think it explains the romance in our marriage.

The Coach is often always gone doing coachery things and he misses happenings around house.  Missing stuff makes him nervous and sad, so he expects me to keep him clued in on everything that goes on in the house.  Nothing is too small.  His OCD/controlling perfectly normal self has been upset before over my failure to report squashing a spider, or maybe that the kids had to get their ball from the neighbor's yard. 

Here is a series of emails I got the other day after I forwarded a final exam review from one of Ty's teachers.

TC: Are you seriously sending this to me?

Me: I was just keeping you in the loop so I don't get in trouble for not informing you of things.  Crap!

TC:  Ha!

Me:  Yes.  Your OCD and control freakiness are hilarious.

TC: What would you do without my OCD?

Me:  Relax?  Drink less?   Your OCD is turning me into a wino.

TC: That is the first sign of alcoholism....blaming your problems on others.

Me: The second thing making me a wino is your judgementalness.

TC: Second sign of being an alcoholic...not listening to those who love you try to tell you that you are becoming an alcoholic.

Me: Hey. I am not an alcoholic.

       Alcoholics drink so much it harms their marriage. I drink to help our marriage.

TC: Third sign of an alcoholic...saying you're drinking it to make yourself or those around you feel better.

Me: Do you really think I am an alcoholic?

TC: Fourth sign is asking your spouse loaded questions

Me: Fine. I am an alcoholic. I can live with that.

TC: Fifth sign…….actually believing you are an alcoholic.

Me: Is the sixth sign no longer responding to your idiot spouse?

TC: I’m still responding to you!

Me: I have actual things to do.  Good bye.

TC: The sixth sign.............

Yes.  It is this kind of witty exchange that have made the past five years so wonderful.   

                                       (Engagement Pic.  Wedding album still packed.)

 

I love you, The Coach.  I know the sacrifices you made to marry me and my kids.   Not a lot of guys would have spent their early thirties that way.  (Yes babe, your early thirties are spent.)  I don't know what I would do without you...other than constantly lose my keys, my phone, my glasses, and my sense of humor.  I am so grateful to you have you around to nag me remind of important things.

Oh yeah and by the way. Yesterday the dog barked at a bird. I thought you would want to know.

Crud, my mom is still probably hanging her head thinking I drink a lot.  Mom, I don't drink a lot.)