So many kids, I don't know what to do.

Friday, June 25, 2010

This Post May Save the World

Brace yourselves. I am getting ready to give a driving lesson.

There are people who might claim (erroneously) I don't drive well enough to give a driving lesson. The truth is my passengers sometimes lack a sense of adventure.

Anyway I read a post on pet peeves the other day and it made me think of one of mine. I thought I would not post about it because it would be gripey and show my road rage side. Then I thought y'all readers know I steal from my kids, and throw phones into the wall, so road rage really shouldn't shock anyone. Plus this is like a public service announcement. It is good for the world! It could save a life.

In Houston we have a way to bring early demise upon yourself in the form of The Unprotected Left Turn. It usually involves a suicide lane on the highway, or a break in the esplanade.

This is an esplanade. (I know I am not an artist. It is one of the many wonderful qualities I did not inherit from my mom. Am I adopted? Mom?)(There is a strong possibility my time would be better spent packing. Or working. Remember though this is an important public service announcement. )

If a driver wants to make a left turn (and I don't advise it) they have to pull into this death zone and wait for a break in oncoming traffic. The problem is that most people for some reason decide this is a good time to start all of the sudden, for no good reason driving on the left side of the road like an idiot. When they stop on the left side of the death zone no one can see around them and they are in the way. Plus other drivers get distracted because they have to cuss at them out and also honk. Like this....

The left turn of death should be made by pulling all the way to the far (RIGHT) side of the break and waiting there.

I have illustrated the correct procedure above.
I admit it gets confusing when more than one person is waiting to make the death defying left turn. Such is life in a city of four million people. On the flip side, Starbucks are easy to find.

This is really the only driving mistake I yell at others about. Let's face it. I just don't drive well enough to criticize others. I often call people, "MO-rons" though for this mistake.
Several years ago when Tanner was probably in the first grade I was driving the kids to church on a Wednesday night and I got distracted and tried a make a death defying left turn into the church parking lot on the wrong side of the break. (Unforgivable, I know.) About that time a truck turned from the other direction the correct way almost hit me. (My fault.) I waved and muttered under my breath, "I'm sorry." Tanner noticed all this from the back seat and said, "I guess you are the MO-ron today, huh Mom?"

Yes. Tanner. Yes I am.
I also just decided upon a better solution to this problem.

Avoid the left turn of death at all costs.

It may add time to your journey but you are more likely to arrive there unscathed.

Because of the monumental importance of this post I am sharing it with the lovely hoppers at the following blogs. Please join!

Daily Dose of Reality

Trendy Treehouse

The Girl Creative


  1. too funny. we have "jug handles" in NJ - seriously. this enables you to get into the right hand land, zip around the "jug handle" and cross the intersection at a light to make your "left". confusing? LOL

  2. Thanks for your PSA! Your illustrations are perfection. In Indy we have roundabouts - everyone's a 500 driver wannabe...

  3. Oh, this is great! My husband hates EVERYONE on the road! His biggest pet peeve is the slow driver in the left lane. DON'T THEY KNOW IT IS A PASSING LANE???? And he never gets tired of ranting about this fact just like it is the 1st time he has realized it! lol...Great post! I am h.s. English teacher too, a Christian as I laughed when I saw you wrote 'being ignored by kids...' lol, welcome to our world! Enjoyed your blog! I'll be following! Def. a fun read! Hi from The Girl Creative (who happens to be my sister :)

  4. THANK YOU! If I had a snazzy blog award to give you for this post, I would. This has got to be one of my biggest pet peeves as well! Oh, and DH and I SO use the word, "MO-rons" to describe THOSE kinds of drivers! Ha ha!

  5. I like that the pictures are time stamped in 2007.

  6. Hi there.
    Stopping by from Friday-Follow to say hello.
    Thanks for playing.
    Have a great day!

  7. mine is people who drive in turn makes me CRAZY!

  8. Heather:

    I’m following you now on New Friend Friday! Please follow me back on my blog “Inspire!”


  9. Ignore the time stamp please. I still haven't reset my camera after putting in new batteries and I neglected to repeated that warning.

  10. I just LOVE your illustrations! So helpful! :)

  11. Wow, you really are doing a public service. I am never driving in your town. Ever.

    I have always wondered what an Esplanade was. I thought it was something Ricky said to Lucy. Thanks for clearing that up, and your pictures are amazing.

  12. Great blog. New follower :)

    Thanks for visiting The Squeaky Grocery Cart.

  13. I really like your drawings.

    Especially the blue car. ;)

  14. Thanks for visiting my blog!

    I love your pictures! Now I know what an unprotected left turn is. We do not have those on our freeways in Nor Cal. I would definitely take the extra time and make a bunch of right turns to get to my destination. The other way is just too scary. =)


  15. How funny that you posted this. I am working on a "why I hate taking the kids to summer school" post and was planning on drawing a few pictures to explain things as well... lol

  16. I love the drawings. Texas may have some weird quirks but we do have Texas turnabouts! Which I love!

  17. Wanted to let you know I came across your blog a little while ago and I love it - makes me smile! This morning I was turning left in a lane like you illustrated and immediately your illustration popped in my head - made my morning! Have a great day!


I always like to know someone is listening!