I Hate Chalk and He is an Alien

Things my husband will never do.

Be late - Seriously the man has punctuality issues. I have finally convinced him that if you are on time to a party you just have to help set up.

Smell bad - Isn't this odd? He never stinks, even after lawn mowing or baseball practice. Even if he goes a couple of days without a shower. He never stinks. I think he is an alien or something.

Drink after another person, even one of our own children. (He will drink after me.)

Give over the remote - Even if he is leaving the room.

Lose his keys - He always knows where his keys are. What fun is this? We used to have an entryway table where he would set his keys, his Skoal, and his glasses when he got ready to leave. For fun I would hide his stuff and watch him walk around all ticked...and worried about being late. He would eventually notice I was giggling and demand to know their whereabouts, but by then I would have forgotten where I put them. Good times.

Here are the things you will never see me do.

Touch chalk. I can't stand it. I will not play with sidewalk chalk ever. Good thing we have dry erase boards at school. (And ELMO's and projectors that put what is on the computer on the wall, and smart boards. Technology totally trumps chalk.)

Ok. After this one I got stuck. It is hard to point out your own quirks. In what may turn out to be the worst mistake I have ever made I consulted The Coach. I asked him what things I never do.

Here is his list. (Completely unedited by me.)

You will never water a plant.

You will never go to bed without pajama pants on.

You will never drive the speed limit.

You never apologize.

You will never drink wine without ice.

You will never go without eating a meal.

I guess this is a pretty fair assessment. My plant murders are well documented. I prefer to put my 'jama pants on as soon as possible. The speeding part........I hate to admit it, but it is true.

~On the way home from his recent surgery he told me, "My speedometer is broken so don't freak out when you look at it and think you are doing 100." I replied, "I would have never thought to look at it." :)

Moving on.

I refuse to discuss the apologizing one. Sorry. (HA. I kill me.)

Ice in wine? Guilty. Red wine is supposed to be like 65 degrees. Duh.
Skip a meal? NEVER. Just thinking about it makes me hungry. I often have to check with him if we are leaving the house for more than a few hours. If he is not planning to stop and feed me I actually pack a snack!!

~So there you have it. My quirks according to The Coach.

I often feel like we are Dharma and Greg. (I am Dharma in case you were wondering.)

I wonder if it is true about opposites attracting. There are many things we are polar opposites on. On the other hand there are things that we are totally together on.

What do you think?

Tell me one thing you and your spouse are opposite about and something you are the same about. Maybe I will compile a list of responses for a later post. (Try to wait patiently.)