The good news is track workouts are no longer my most hated tri workout.
Guess what is?
My first experience with fartleks was awful from the moment I got lost, confused and frustrated trying to find my team in Memorial Park until I gave up running and stumbled cramping and sweating back to my truck for a smoke. (Kidding. I don't smoke.) I think the whole experience was payback for the times The Coach and I would ride through Memorial Park before church looking at runners while we were eating donuts.
After the first attempt at fartleks I came to the obvious conclusion - Misery LOVES company.
I informed my son, Ty, the next day that he would be attending fartlek training with me next time.
He informed ME that he likes to run in the neighborhood so if necessary he can stop in for a brownie.
A little while later he came to me and we had the following conversation:
Ty: So hypothetically if I went to run with you at Memorial Park, how long is the park?
Me: The park is quite large. We would just run a portion of it which is a three mile loop.
Ty: Who in the hell made such a long loop? That's stupid.
Me: Ty, I was planning on running it twice.
Ty: I may go with you and run it once, but while you are running around it the second time I am going to sit and eat a cheeseburger.
Me: Yeah. Try that in the park with thousands of hungry runners.
Fast forward two weeks - during this two weeks please imagine many failed workouts. These failures span anywhere from not starting the workout to giving up on a five mile run after two pit stops at 4:30 am. Also throw in there some nutritional difficulty that left me wanting to eat my own arm about 3:30 every afternoon, but instead resorting to Taco Bell.
I had given Ty a choice: he could either go with me to run fartleks or he could stay at home to babysit and The Coach would go with me. (Little did he know The Coach had already refused.)
Ty decided reluctantly to come along, but he did complain about his legs, sore from football weight lifting.
(Also there was a slight discomfort which apparently occurred when he applied Icy-Hot to his upper thighs in too close of proximity to his "parts". For reasons that are not clear he has been begging me to blog about this ever since. I guess he didn't want Tanner's "ball sacky" hands to get all the attention.)
I told him jogging would help loosen up his sore legs.
His reply, "My coach says that too, but I don't think the claim is backed by science. I think it is just something people say to fat kids to make them run."
He promptly fell asleep on the recliner. He never does this so I took pity on him and decided to leave him. When I got ready to leave I couldn't find my keys, so I had to wake him up as he drove the car last. (I know. It keeps me up at night too.)
I was already running late so of course he decided he wanted to go.
He got a shirt out of the dryer which is where he has been getting all his clothes for the past two days. At some point I am going to have to point to him a dryer is for DRYING and a dresser is for storing.
I got lost again, but we finally found my team.
The plan was to run a mile warm up and then alternating hard/easy quarters miles for the next five miles. Ty's plan was to run the warm up with me then wave goodbye.
It was awful. Apparently the gods really frown upon eating of donuts in front of hungry runners. It was 96 degrees at 6:30p.m.. I cramped up immediately. I tried to just keep on going. During the "easy" quarters my heart rate wouldn't slow down. I finally just started walking/running. When I finished the first loop I ran in the opposite direction to find Ty. I didn't really have any worries that my man sized son had been kidnapped, but I was shocked that he hadn't made it any further. When I finally found him I started walking with him. Within two minutes he said, "I just don't understand why we have to walk so fast!"
We were walking a 14:30 mile.
We met back up with the team and I informed Ty it had taken him one hour to jog/walk three miles. I knew that was pathetic even for him because he can run a nine minute mile. He informed me that for twenty minutes he had been in the "porta shitter" and he had "destroyed" it. I let him know how much the running community probably appreciated him.
Overall fartleks still suck.
But the company did make it more enjoyable.
Ty was quite impressed with the other, faster, runners on the team. Overall I think it was a good experience for him. And he got a McFlurry for his trouble. (What can I say? The kid has some persuasive dimples.)
What is your most unfavorite type of training? Would company help?
Any other suggestions on making it more enjoyable?
Also do you think I could blame my crappy performance on giving blood that day??
Or am I just crappy?