So many kids, I don't know what to do.



Friday, May 27, 2011

Creepy Traumatic Facebook

Hey,
Head over to Shell's Blog, Things I Can't Say.  She chose me as BFF today because she is awesome and probably had a feeling I was getting ready to stalk her in order to be her real BFF.  I still may.

I am very excited and I am going to eat cupcakes all day to celebrate.  I would love it if you celebrated with me.




Back to the usual strangeness around here!!



Facebook just became creepy and traumatic.  

I clicked on the Friend Finder button to look up an old teacher friend.
Little did I know Facebook had hundreds of potential friends in mind for me.

One suggestion was blogger I read.  I like the blogger so that itself is not creepy.  What is creepy is - How did Facebook know I even read the blog?  Is my Google communicating with my Facebook?  If so, that is creepy, but in a good way as we are Facebook friends now.

The next suggestion was a neighbor of mine.  I figured Facebook had compared our addresses and decided we should be friends.  That seemed weird because it hadn't suggested any other neighbors.  I quickly realized that it probably HAD suggested other neighbors and I just didn't recognize them.  Facebook knows my neighbors better than I do!  CREEP-Y.  But still good creepy as I "friended" the neighbor too.

Next I came across a suggestion to befriend my high school boyfriend, Stodd Stones - name changed to protect the innocent.  Actually I was glad to see him and I did scroll through his pics to see his kids. I didn't request to be his friend though because The Coach and I have a Facebook rule.  He is allowed to friend all past girlfriends, flirts, and skanks who hit on him after a couple of beers, but I am not.  Besides Stodd has never requested to be my friend either so I figure he may have some form of the rule in his house too. (My husband says it is creepy that I checked out his pics.  I don't think so.  We had been friends since the 7th grade and our break up was one of those amicable "I found someone else at college" type deals, so I am NOT creepy.)

Back to the story.

After that the suggestions got even creepier. They began to remind me of my painful adolescence.

I recognized Jonny Dames - name changed to protect the innocent.  I sat next to him in seventh grade biology.  He once told me that my runny nose was annoying.  Well!  If I friended him now I would point out that I am allergic to every tree, plant, pollen and grass in Texas.  I would also point out to him that it was a good thing my olfactory senses were compromised because he had a sweat issue.   Anyone else might have been annoyed by the smell. 

And finally not knowing the residual trauma they were putting me through Facebook suggested I friend Jarius Dones - named changed to protect the cruel. Back in elementary school I developed a crush on Jarius Dones - mostly because Rusty Roup (Real name. I couldn't make that up. ) reported that Jarius like me.  I talked about him at home, Jarius this, Jarius that.  My parents were mildly shocked when they attended a school function and realized Jarius was black.  I guess it wasn't what they were picturing.  What can I say?  I am an equal opportunity crusher.

Anyway Jarius covered up his intense love for me by not speaking to me for five years.  Then in the eighth grade he felt the need to point out to me and the whole gym class that my left boob had grown in, but not my right.  Looking back I guess a bra would have corrected this problem, but who knew? 
I was almost compelled to friend him and let him know that I now have two matching boobs.  I quickly realized the prime time to do this passed about fifteen years ago before I started having kids.  Oh well. I do hope to glance through some of Jarius' pictures one day and see that he has a large zit, or maybe wrinkles.  I will gather my friends around and we can all laugh at him as payback.

I don't know how though I am going to get back at Facebook for making relive that trauma.
Maybe Facebook could suggest a good therapist.
Creepy.

Have you come across any old or interesting friends on Facebook?

33 comments:

  1. And here are reasons why fb scares me!

    Thanks for being BFF this week!

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  2. I came to check you out from Shell's site! Yes - FB is super creepy with their friend suggestions...although the best was my husbands ex-fiance. Thank you, but not thank you FB!

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  3. That is creepy. FB suggested I be friends with someone that I used to know that passed away. It even says on the page -- Memorial --. Freaked me out!

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  4. Facebook has suggested some odd friends from my past and I have been to the therapist to correct what Facebook wrought!

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  5. Hey - you rocked it at Shell's today as BFF! Am hoping many others discover you're awesomeness as a result!
    Facebook has suggested my high school ex as a potential friend. Sure it must be suggested me too. We have 10 friends in common....and neither of us is sending out the friend request. I prefer to think we are together keeping FB less creepy.

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  6. Bwhahahaha! This post is hilarious. (And creepy.)

    Our computers are going to take us over...I just know it!

    I think it's fair to share with everyone from your past that your rack filled out fabulously! Just sayin!

    XO

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  7. it seriously is so crazy how weird things can get online! love it and hate it :)

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  8. Loved your post on Shell's today - I didn't realize it was you until I clicked on your blog though...a bit slow this morning.

    Yes it really is creepy how FB knows so many connections. I had a few ex's as to be my friend and I felt weird about it but did accept- and well either they never post or have defriended me or something as I never see anything they post- not that I am looking!

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  9. Yet again, another hilarious post. I have some ex's on my fb - fun to see them all old and wrinkly.

    It's hydrantgirl - blogger won't let me sign in?

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  10. My sweetie is adamantly against facebook. That said, my oldest put together a facebook page for our blog. The only problem is...I can't look at it!
    Sandy

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  11. This post was hysterical! It's funny the people you see on FB. I admit I like looking up people to see what they're doing now without friending them. Is that creepy?

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  12. Oh my gosh. This happened to me *last night*. For real. Saw some people I really would be happy to never connect with, thankyouverymuch. Saw an old boyfriend. I wouldn't friend him but it was interesting seeing his pic.

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  13. Congrats on the BFF.

    I absolutely love reconnecting with people via Facebook. But I don't friend ex-boyfriends. Guys who were in love with me are ok.

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  14. Love the FB *rule* about old girlfriends

    So glad to know you will be filling out the top of your new swimsuit nicely

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  15. Um, yea. I've gotten good at that "Ignore" button.

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  16. Hi, first of all I just laughed out loud at my computer at almost midnight....and second, thanks for linking up to Saturday Social, I'm following you back

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  17. I used to get lots of creepy suggestions! Now I get what seem to be completely random suggestions. They're people that I dont know at all!

    Loved your post over at Shells too!

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  18. Popping over from Shell's. I try not to think too much about facebook, because yeah, it's a little creepy. My elementary school tormenter kept asking to friend me and I realized I wasn't so much over all that childhood trauma, but he wouldn't let it go, so I blocked him! :)

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  19. I have to say, my love affair with Facebook has been waning since I started blogging. But now the Google Blogger sucks a** I may have to breakup and find a new BFF myself.

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  20. I love the sometimes-creepy suggestions that Facebook comes up with, and the memories that are dredged up in the process. Sometimes I think that technology is not such a good thing ;-)

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  21. Okie dokey, just read your other post, this is why people eat their young.

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  22. Oh Lordy - this is what freaks me out about FB! I keep wanting to delete my profile altogether, and then someone gets on there and yells, "Mr. Daddy has CRABS" and it's just too funny to miss out on.

    And yes, I totally hear ya on the whole painful adolescent Facebook memory triggers, ha!

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  23. ha ha!! This cracks me up and is all too true! FB suggests WAAAAY too many peeps. a "friend" on FB is more like an acquaintance nowadays.

    Love the rule you and your husband established! Seems a lil imbalanced though!

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  24. I think the ad stuff is creepy. I work in MHMR and with foster families. I don't talk about it on FB but yet it still advertises foster adoption stuff to me. And last week I was watching the doc "The Buddha" on netflicks, which logs in with my husbands email address, my name is not on it at all, but seconds later when I log into fb it suggests i like "the buddha" ack!

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  25. Hilarious and exactly why I stick to twitter and hide from real life people. Stopped by from Shells.

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  26. At best, Facebook is annoying. Now that you've mentioned it, Facebook is definitely kinda creepy!

    Stopped by from Shells. Am going to poke around your blog now!

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  27. My FB got hacked into about two weeks ago, and this morning my daughter's got it. Yep. Creepy. I have never bothered to check out friend suggestions. Maybe I should keep it that way! haha. Stopped by from Shell's.

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  28. Yes, I came across an interesting friend when a sister I had no contact with for 30 years Facebooked me and I noticed the name of one of her friends looked like and had the same name as a guy I dated 40 years ago. Out of curiosity I messaged and asked if he was the same person who had been a Fireman and dated a girl named Shirley. He said yes and recognized me right away. When asked how he knew my sister, he said they were high school classmates in 67' and he did not find out we were sisters until a recent High School Reunion. He said somehow my name came up and sis was somewhat shocked that we were friends. He indicated his connection to me had caused sis to have a new found respect for him. LOL. At any rate, turns out he lived only 15 miles from me and is now a happily married minister. I was pleased to have reconnected to someone that far back in my history. FB can be annoying, but it can also be quite amazing.

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  29. I just found your blog today and I love it. I'm a [sort of] avid runner and biker too. Although I haven't blogged about it much. I grabbed your button to add to my button page. I loved your stalker story--I posted a funny stalking story on my blog too--well, I though it was funny (http://alife-sizecatholicblog.blogspot.com/2011/05/ecco-ci-qualook-at-this.html). ;-D Looking forward to your future posts!

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  30. I just came over from Shell's blog, loved your post, totally hilarious. Yes FB is totally creepy. Sometimes I want to just close my account and be done with it, but I never do. I guess I'm too hooked.

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I always like to know someone is listening!