I read a stupid article the other day in a stupid magazine about how "HAPPY FAMILIES" snuggle.
I immediately felt an immense amount of maternal guilt.
The truth is I do not like to be touched. I am not one for casual hugs and I HATE to have someone's arm around me. Even my tough military brother, Guns, has been known to panic if he accidentally is in a situation where he might accidentally brush up against me.
I try to get over this with the kids because I understand they will surely end up in therapy if I constantly scream every time they touch me. I really can't afford therapy on a teacher's salary, so I try to put aside the fact that Tanner's hands are always moist and when Ty leans up against me my lower body goes to sleep.
The other night I was sitting on the couch tolerating the tv watching pile. Tanner entertained us during the commercials by doing animal impersonations. (Hilarious. I should put up a video of his rabbit impersonation. Animalination?)
When I announced I was ready for bed Tanner started telling me good night while rubbing his moist hands up and down my face. I told him to stop. I said, "You have been sitting in here for thirty minutes and that whole time your hand has been in your pants. Don't touch me."
Apparently he mistook these as words of encouragement.
He started rubbing both of his hands on my face. To prevent my escape Ty (245 lbs) sat on my legs. I was trapped. I finally screamed, "Get your penisy hands OFF of me!!" I truly felt the need for disinfectant at that point. Tanner replied, "They aren't penisy, they are just ball-sacky."
Well. I am glad there was clarification as to what was going on down there.
The Coach finally walked by in the process of locking all the doors six times. While the boys were trying to pretend they weren't mistreating me I made my escape.
I have washed my face forty times since.
I am not so sure snuggling is the key to a happy family. I personally am much happier when I am not being touched.
Here is another happy suggestion in the article that does not make me happy.........
Letting kids help with dinner. That does not make me happy. It makes dinner late. It makes me hungry and therefore cranky.
What "wonderful happy suggestions" do you find almost unbearable??