So many kids, I don't know what to do.

Monday, February 14, 2011


In honor of Valentine's month.  I thought I would write about love. 

I have read the way a man proposes is the way he will also approach a married relationship.  If he is impulsive when popping the question, he will do impulsive-like husband things.

The Coach and I had been dating about three years when we started thinking about getting married.  Marriage is a big decision especially when one person in the relationship has three children and the other was a former youth minister whose very conservative Baptist parents believe marrying a divorced woman means the ministry will no longer be an option.

Anyway we had been dating for three years and we both knew it was time to pull the trigger.   The Coach is a control freak planner, but even after three years I didn't realize how this would play out.    Also, The Coach is never afraid to do "girly" things if that he figures will make me happy.

Early one morning in August The Coach came over and told me I needed to go get my hair done.  He likes my hair super short which requires a lot of trimming.  He was going to take the kids for pancakes while I was getting a haircut.  He told me to throw in a round of highlights too.  I got in the car and started to get ticked.  I called my mom and asked, "Who does he think he is?"  My hair wasn't THAT bad, and darnit I like pancakes.  Mom told me to go.
I went.
After the haircut, my hairdresser told me it was already paid for and handed me an envelope.  The envelope contained a card saying he realized my second job (a whole nother story) had ruined my nails and I should go get them done up with acrylics.  I went.  I got nails.  When I got ready to leave the salon owner handed me another envelope directing me to go buy and outfit and enjoy my day off of jobs, and kids.  When I was done shopping I was to meet The Coach and the kids at their usual fishing spot. 

I went and I shopped. 
As  I was walking up to the pond I noticed a small flurry of activity.  Saige's preschool little self was holding a teddy bear with a box in it's paws.  She walked up to me and said, "The Coach wants to know if you will marry him." 
I replied, "I might.  If he asked."   (What?  I didn't want to let him off the hook)
So he did propose and I did accept.

He told me he hoped I had enjoyed my day and later we were going to go to eat. 

When we got to the restaurant all of our friends and family were there.  He and P$ had organized an engagement party.  It was such a huge surprise.  I got to show off my beautiful ring.  It was so sweet that he had gone through so much trouble to orchestrate the entire thing.

Is it a reflection of how he acts as a husband?
If his proposal means that he likes to take charge and plan things without interference.  Yes.  Double yes. 
Sometimes I tend to focus on the part of this tendency that leaves me feeling like he doesn't trust me to plan things, or do things on my own.  After five years of marriage though I have finally gotten a clue as to what is going on in his mind.  It usually is NOT that he doesn't think I am competent, but instead that he wants to make sure the kids and I are safe and taken care of. 
And how can you be mad at a guy for that??


  1. I was hoping for more impulsive-like husband things that I could add to my repertoire. I wonder what the contingency plan was in case you said no?

  2. tears are squirting out of my eyes

    He is such a cutie! I love this entire story. Especially that you said maybe and made him ask himself.

  3. THAT was a beautiful story and a PERFECT Valentines post!

    And for what it's worth ... I'm pretty conservative (though not even minimally traditional) Baptist and I would have no trouble with a divorced and remarried (on whatever side) Youth Pastor! Life happens! We all need to move on and quit judging! :)

  4. Aww...that is a wonderful story! I love hearing other couple's stories - they build the love we have for our spouse. Thanks for sharing!

  5. You can't be mad, because that is outstanding! Love this story.

  6. That's an impressive plan. This is going to make me think about Tim's proposal in relationship to our marriage. I can't see a parallel off the top of my head.

  7. I proposed to my wife after a bout in the bedroom. I could afford only a 200-dollar ring.

    And you know, that's just the kind of husband I've been for the last 14 years. Weird.

  8. That is one of the most beautiful proposal stories I've ever heard. Truly.

    And I can empathize with you in a whole different way. I'm the control freak in our marriage and I know it can be tough on my husband sometimes. But he's great at just rolling with my need to be in charge of the plans most of the time. My hat's off to you.

  9. Ahhhh, adorable.
    I love, love.

    But I hated Valentine's this year! No date or available single man in sight. (sigh!)

    Lucky you!
    Count those blessings!


  10. Aww! I love how he planned to make it so special down to the last details! What a keeper!

  11. Beautiful! My husband's the same way with planning.


I always like to know someone is listening!