Old Vs. New

This time of the year I hear many people complaining about the Resolution Crowds at the gym.  A nice blogger reminded us all to be supportive of the newbies and remember we were there once too.

In light of that reminder I have decided to make fun of the old gym users.  (Snark alert!! And a pre-emptive - Yes...I know I am not perfect either.)

First I am going to make fun of my good friend E..  E. lifts weights and complains about others who talk on the phone, bring lifting instructions to the gym with them.  He really seems to have a special hate for those who forget to bring a sweat towel.  I was interested in E's workout once and asked him what he did for cardio.  He replied that he didn't need cardio.....because he lifted the weights quickly enough for it to count as cardio.  (This struck me as hilarious.  Is this a real thing?  Please tell me if it is so I can cross him off my list.)

Next I would like to make fun of the male weight lifters who preen in the mirror.  Not while they are lifting.  I get that.  They are checking their form I assume.  But those who preen on the way to the water fountain.  They preen on the way to get a closer look at the TV.  They preen as they are walking to their gym bags.  In fact I never seen these preeners lift a weight!

I now need to ridicule the heavy weight guys. (Not to their face though.) These guys lift a lot more than I ever could. And they do it well for eleven or so reps.  Then after the twelfth rep (of each set) their muscles are so utterly exhausted they must drop the weight to the floor from a shoulder height resulting in a resounding crash that scares the crap out of me every time.

And finally my favorite of the veteran gym-ites.  The guys who believe their muscles are so big they have to hold their arms outwards at a 45 degree angle from their body.  These same guys have such (imaginary) massive thighs they have to walk straddle legged as if they have jock itch.  These guys make me giggle the most.

So I will welcome all the new gym goers.  Some will only be there for a month or too unfortunately.  (Unfortunately because I like it when they are there and I can  feel superior to someone for a short time make new gym friends.)  Others will continue to work out until they too can annoy me with their big muscles.

(To make up for this snarky post I promise to write something sweet tomorrow.  Wow.  That's pressure.)

Care to share any of your snarky gym laughs?