So many kids, I don't know what to do.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

A Mid-Summer Day's Panic

When Saige was little she got frequent UTIs.  All of those infections culminated in several tests.  She had to have a sonogram and some other stuff and finally an x-ray type test to check the functions of her......insides?  ( I am incredibly medical aren't I?)

The last test she had to take was the summer she turned five.  I took my mom with us because I was over eight months pregnant and the test involved radiation.  I knew I would not be allowed to stay with Saige.  So my mom who is slightly handicapped, my pregnant self and my daughter and I trekked downtown in the 110 degree heat to Texas Children's Hospital.  The test was stressful for her and for me because I couldn't stay with her, but I could hear her from the hallway.

The next day it was still hot and I was still pregnant and I was out doing errands with the three kids I already had.    During the grocery store trip the kids decided we HAD to go to the library.  I agreed because it is quiet and air conditioned there it would be educational.

We ran in the house and put the groceries away and then piled back into the Womb on Wheels to head to the library which would be closing soon.

Once there we browsed for books.  Except for Tanner who isn't interested in books.  He lurked behind the computer users passing gas until he could get one to leave in disgust.  (I didn't teach him that.)  Saige and I had to use the little girls' room and while we were in there I noticed something wasn't right with Saige.  There was a mysterious stain on the leg of her underpants.  I cleaned her up and headed back to the library in a panic.  I told the kids to check out what they had immediately so we could leave.

In the parking lot I started asking Saige questions.
"Does your stomach hurt?"
"Does your back hurt?"
"How long has that underpants situation been going on?"
In my mind I was thinking something had gone wrong with the test.  Maybe her internal organs were pricked and now they were leaking???? She answered with her usual space cadet obliviousness.  Nothing hurt.  She had no fever.  She couldn't say when the problems began. 

I was headed home to call the pediatrician or the specialist we had met with.  I was debating on whether or not to drive straight to the ER.  As we were getting in the van I noticed the problem had worsened.  You have to understand the UTI episodes had been going on for over a year.  I was already worried something was horribly wrong.  I spent the day before in that children's hospital looking around at kids who were chronically and seriously ill.  I just couldn't imagine what it would be like to cope with that kind of illness in your own child.  Those parents were so strong. 
 Plus I was pregnant.  Hormones may have been a factor.

I started to clean her up.  I asked again if she was hurting.

Then I smelled.........................chocolate.

"Saige", I asked.  "Did you stick chocolate in your underpants?"

"Yup"  She replied.

It turns out she did not have a dangerous and deadly internal organ laceration during the test.  What had happened was........while I was quickly putting up groceries she was grabbing a little chocolate candy snack.  When I yelled for them to load back up without getting anything to eat my sweet daughter decided the best way to avoid having to share her purloined treat with her brothers was to stick it down her pants and save it for later
THEN she let me panic for ten minutes not mentioning it.

( I have since told her that chocolate must be eaten right away during a Texas summer.)

Can you imagine if I had taken her to the ER and they had had to diagnose her?


  1. LOL! Thanks for the giggle. Happy Tuesday! :o)

  2. That is so not funny and completely hilarious! I'm reading along thinking oh no, poor Saige and then I burst out laughing.

  3. Bwhaha..oh I am sorry. I can SO see myself doing something like this! Thank goodness pregnant women have that super sniffer and can smell chocolate from a mile away. Glad that was all it was!

  4. Oh my!!! And I hope you tell that story at her wedding.

  5. OH MY! Okay I almost pee'd myself! That was too funny (of course not at the time I am sure but WOW!)

  6. Oh, I totally needed that giggle. You know, of course I feel most sorry for you because you were pregnant during the summer in Texas (for some reason, I felt the need to do that twice...the second time with twins).

    Who's maternal NOW?

  7. Wow! I guess chocolate isn't always awesome.

  8. Okay, that was funny... thanks for the laugh this morning. I needed it.

  9. That is hilarious! At least you figured it out before you took her to the doctor's!

  10. That's one place no one will look for your chocolate!


  11. Ok, I just stopped by from Rachel & Mr Daddy's place, but didn't expect to almost wet myself from laughter! That was awesome! And totally something I would have done. I can't wait to read more adventures - your house sounds like ours!

  12. Hahahahaha, in my life I would have actually had to be at the ER to figure it out.

  13. Oh, this was a great story. So glad you shared. I needed a good laugh!

  14. OH NO WAY!?!

    Totally cracking up at your discovery! I bet it was a great combination of relief, confusion, and WHAT THE HECK?!?

    And I can't get over your son's strategy for getting a vacant computer... why is it that boys never have to be taught? It's just something "special" inside them that contains a knowledge of how to use your internal combustion system for gain...

    Thanks for linking up!

    (And I love "Womb on Wheels" - you are a hoot!)

  15. Oh my goodness, that is hilarious!

  16. Don't you just love how kids think?

  17. That is way too funny.


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