So many kids, I don't know what to do.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Santa Can't Pass You

I get the following question around this time of year.  Mostly I get it from juniors who have done nothing but take up oxygen for the entire first semester and finally realize mid December Santa can't give them credit for U.S. History A.
The question: "Miss, What can I do to pass your class?"
The answer: "Build a time machine and go back eighteen weeks.  Turn in some work and stop texting your girlfriend during my class.  Use your book for something other than just a pillow.  Learn my name.  It isn't 'Miss'.  For the love of all that is good buy a pen!"

The majority of my students are very nice and hardworking and do what it takes to pass my class, which isn't much.  This other five percent though still usually nice often seems slightly clueless as to their grade and the reason for it. 
I hope for them that Santa will bring an understanding of hard work plus access to the online grade book.  And a pen.


  1. I check My Lexi's grades online nearly every day. I have to know how she's doing.

  2. Why do they all wait until the last minute to try to fix it?

  3. Awww this made me crack up..... especially the texting part.. because i threatened to throw 2 yes 2 of my students phones out of the window today.. and really.... wtf about the pens//// ??? when were writing utensils deemed not a necessity...LOL!!!! F.. santa.. they better start hugs

  4. The window isn't good enough. I would want to either smash the phone with a hammer or stick it somewhere that would cause me to promptly lose my job.

    Yesterday the 11-year-old neighborhood sent me a forward BY TEXT. I don't have a texting plan. I just have a plan to shake the kid down for a quarter.

  5. I love it!

    We're going through this super fun stage where our oldest just ups and decides he's not going to give us things. Like, important information about Christmas parties or meetings. I'm lucky he got his progress report and if he needs pens/pencils I am totally clueless.


  6. Ah, the question of grades, we are trying to get our unit graded before break and I have kids ask, why did I get this, well, look at your rubric it is there x+y=z...............

  7. Haha. I love your posts! :) Good luck to those slacker kids!

  8. Man, I hear you! I love getting calls from parents, one day before their child has court, and asking if they can get their child into anger management, even though they've known for 4 months they needed to do it.

  9. I was a slacker kid. Yes, it is true but I did just enough to get a grade that wouldn't get me in trouble. My strength was rallying near the end of the marking period.

    Thank goodness my kids take after my valedictorian wife (who checks their grades daily online).

  10. Hahaha your post had me cracking up! I'm a sub teacher so I can relate..I do feel for those stuck w/ the slackers full time! Finding your blog thru fmbt I'd to have you join me at

  11. And you know, sometimes the parents don't help much, either. Our neighbors and good friends have kids who consistently make bad grades because of their slackerness. According to their mom, it's ALWAYS the teacher's fault.

    I love the time machine answer. Good one.


I always like to know someone is listening!