So many kids, I don't know what to do.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Don't Let the Farsighted Administer Suppositories

My mom is a lovely woman. She isn't old. So, I can make fun of her for some vision mishaps. She had another one lately which reminded me that I haven't publicly humiliated her on my blog lately. She is a good sport though. She can take it.

A few years back I had breakfast with her and she was all indignant about something she had seen in the paper. My mom is pretty laid back and she rarely gets very angry. But she was heated up that day. The Christmas toy store circular had come out and she felt it featured some questionable Barbies. She was in quite the huff telling me about the scantily clad dolls which were called, "Call Girl Barbies". She went on during breakfast about how terrible that was and how she just couldn't believe it. She was going to write the manufacturer. I asked if she was sure this wasn't some Spencer's circular or something. She swore it wasn't. She was totally agitated.

A couple days later I went to her house. She had saved the circular for me. She shoved it at me and demanded I check it out. Sure enough it was a toy store ad. Sure enough the little hussy dolls were wearing a minute amount of clothing. I asked if she knew where her glasses were as I pointed out they were "Cali Girl Barbies" as in California. I am glad she hadn't written that letter yet.

A couple of years later Tanner had to have surgery. Upon returning home from the surgery he was throwing up. The hospital had sent me home with some medicine in case of vomiting. Unfortunately it was in suppository form. I don't administer suppositories. I don't take rectal temperatures. So my mom and I agreed she would do it. (See how nice she is and I am still making her mistakes blog fodder?) I left the room wanting nothing to do with the process. When I came back she was all indignant. She told me she hadn't given the suggested dosage because that was just way too much. I asked her, "How much did you give him?" and she replied she had just given him one. I asked, "How much was the dosage?" She told me it was 2-3 suppositories. This seemed excessive. I looked at the label and asked her if she had her glasses on. When she found them. I pointed out the dosage of 2/3 of a suppository.

Tanner has not thrown up since that day!!

Last week we were at her house for the Fourth. Tayte wanted medicine for his mosquito bites as he does every time we get there, so Gramma told him to go get it. It is a little stick. He brought it to her and they treated all his real and imagined bites. Later that day I couldn't figure out why he had white streaks on his ankles that wouldn't rub in or rub off. Later the mystery was solved.

This is NOT mosquito medicine. Tayte can't read.

Mom, do you know where your glasses are?
I'll have to ask him if it made his bites all better.


  1. This reminded me so much of my Grandma and my Dad, lol

  2. Omg, best laugh I've had all day. Sadly I can totally see myself making the same mistakes as my vision is gone to crap since I've gotten older.

  3. Hello! I am a new follower from Friday Follow, so glad to have found your great blog. I look forward to reading more. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!


  4. I love the manicure stick for the bite!!!

  5. The Most I have laughed in a long time...Needed a laugh today...Happy Friday

  6. Oh that was funny! Your mom sounds great!

  7. Funny stuff. I once used the stick sunscreen for an art project in place of a glue stick... could't figure out why it wasn't sticking. I guess it's better than having put the glue on my kiddos. :)

  8. You are such a great writer... I love reading about all the crazy things your family is up to... Love you guys

  9. Oh my flipping gosh... I am dying laughing here! I am so glad I went back and found this hilarious post!

    You had three True Story Tuesdays all wrapped up in one post :)

    I cracked up at the "hasn't thrown up since", and then lost it at the manicure pen. Too stinkin' funny!


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