So many kids, I don't know what to do.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Smartest Man on Earth

Hi. Today I am joining Once Upon a Miracle for True Story Tuesday. Join in the fun.

Just in time for summer travel I thought you might enjoy this little piece of wisdom.

My husband is a smart guy. He does all of our bills and it's a good thing. If I did them we would all have cute clothes and no electricity. He knows more than anyone I know about baseball. Not just trivia, but strategy and well....stuff.

He is a leader. He gets things done. He may be a tad...just a tad of a control freak. The way my family and I do things may drive him crazy - like this.

The Coach: Are we going to your mom's for dinner?

Me : I think so.

The Coach: What time?

Me : I dunno. When I get the kids in the van. Later

The Coach : What time did your mom say dinner would be?

Me : She didn't. I didn't ask.

The Coach : What are we having?

Me : I dunno. I didn't ask.

The Coach: Can you call and find out. (By the way..he doesn't CARE what is for dinner HE JUST HAS TO KNOW preferably before breakfast.)

Me: Sure

(Calling.) Mom, what's for dinner? Ok.

( To The Coach) She doesn't know.

Except that we can't have the conversation once. We have to have it over and over until I can begin to chip away at his mind enough for him to realize we really DON"T KNOW.

I digress.

As a result of this combination of intelligence and control freakiness he sometimes gets impatient with other people. Granted those people are usually pretty annoying, but it is still impatience.

Recently we were starting off on a 13 hour car ride. Just contemplate THAT for a moment. Thirteen hours, five kids, one mini van. About twenty minutes into this ride The Coach started griping about someone...I don't even remember who now..who had done something stupid.

And I asked him, as a loving, gentle way to point out his impatience, "Do you REALLY think you are smarter than everyone on the planet?"

His reply was an unexpected and unequivocal, "Yes." Which led to the inevitable conversation about whether or not he was smarter than me.

Now, I will be the first to say I did not make great grades. I graduated. I earned a degree. I worked hard. But in every day common sense situations I am smart and efficient. I can remember how to make Ramen Noodles even. (This reminds me of that quote in Breakfast Club, "Without lamps, there would be no light.")

I threw everything I had at him to try to get him to concede that we were equally intelligent. No Dice. I brought up an IQ test I had beat him on by two points. He didn't remember. I recalled the time I advised him to make up for his broken speedometer by making sure it took sixty second to go from one mile marker to another. Nope, not good enough.

Finally I had to pull out the trump card. "A smart man would NOT have stated during the first twenty minutes of a cross country drive he was smarter than his wife."

I am also sad to admit that for the rest of the week (ok all year) I may have sarcastically referred to my husband as, "The Smartest Man in the World". I do this more emphatically when it takes him three tries to make microwave popcorn, or he sits patiently on a cooler waiting for a mole to emerge in our back yard so he can whack it with a shovel. (The original Whack A Mole.)

The moral of this story is. Say goofy things at the END of a long car trip. Afteryour spouse has taken a Valium. :)

That is all. Enjoy your trip.

I am also linking up to Tuesday Tag Along at Twee Poppets and Follow Me Back Tuesday at Boobies, Babies and A Blog.


  1. I didn't realize but I'm already following you! Should've seen me trying to figure out why I couldn't follow your blog LOL You'd think it's Monday!

    Anyway, stop by my pad!

  2. omg heather. you are hilarious. i think we're married to the same man. asking the same question 56 times doesn't mean i had some epiphany and suddenly know!

    stopping by from the hop too

  3. Following from TTA! Please stop on over and say hello!

  4. Following from Follow Me Back Tuesdays

  5. New follower from Tuesday tag along! Please follow me back

    Happy Tuesday!

  6. Ha! That's awesome! You would think he would be smarter than that... :) And you really should get Qwelf - it has created some priceless memories for our family.

  7. Hi there.
    Stopping by via Follow me back Tuesday to say hello.
    Have a great day!

  8. I am not yet familiar with the joys of a long car trip with children, but I will definitely be remembering this rule and passing it along to my husband. (Who is also the Smartest Man on Earth.)

    Stopping by from the Tuesday Follow and so glad I did!

  9. i never do true story tuesday because I did not know it exsisted but I will try it next time.. Smartest man on earth is clever

  10. You sound like a very wise woman indeed! And it was quite intelligent of him to have married you! :)

  11. Thanks for stopping by! Great story!
    I look forward to more

  12. So funny! Your husband sounds a lot like mine! Following you back!


  13. Thanks for stopping by! I'm your newest follower :)

  14. Hi! Following back.
    I love the letter to your students. It's hularious that they are in Advanced US History and they write "would of". So sad about the donuts too.
    Have a great night!

  15. Thanks for stopping by and visiting my blog. Glad that someone has the smartest husband in the world. Mine seems to play dumb alot of times. HAVE A GREAT TUESDAY!!! :)


  16. that so sounds like a conversation at our house...
    except that it's the worlds smartest woman...LOL

  17. Bwahahahahahaha! He opened himself up for the year's worth of ridicule you have dished out!

  18. yep, i have been on that van ride too. came over from tst. my husband does not use a shovel, but waits for the ground squirrels with a shot gun.

  19. Great blog, I'm your newest follower =)


I always like to know someone is listening!