So many kids, I don't know what to do.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Alligators, Axe Murderers, and Heat Stroke - Oh My!

I am scared of alligators. This isn't actually a totally irrational fear. There are alligators here in the Bayou City. Especially in the spring during mating season they do occasionally end up in weird places like neighborhood pools, or in the bayou behind residential areas. A seven foot beast was even rumored to show up at the bus stop when we first moved here. Hey...he just wanted an education.

Because of this fear my workout options are sometimes limited.
Of course I fear alligators when I swimming in the morning in the dark at the neighborhood pool. I like to make my 14 year old go with me to A. be bait or B. be on the lookout. It is really his choice.

My other option is to swim in the indoor pool at the Y. Also known as the world's shortest pool.

Or I can swim after school when the most dangerous thing I encounter is the swim team coach's stink eye when I don't get out right at 3:30 when swim team practice starts.

Mostly though I am afraid of them on the run/bike trail. See them?

Well just because you can't see them doesn't mean they aren't there. They are sneaky.

They really like these sewer pipes - I assume. I am not going to go LOOK.

Along with this quasi irrational fear of alligators I also fear ax-murderers and heat stroke.

Here is what seems to be my best option for running.

Run in the morning.
Pros -

~I won't get heatstroke. It usually only about 83 in the morning.

~ I will actually run in the morning. I will NOT run in the evening. Too tired.

Cons -

~I could be ax murdered in the dark. To lessen the chance of that I do one of two things. I run in the neighborhood. That is boring and usually I can be counted on to succumb to the pleasures of bagels after I pass my house the third time.

The other option is again to have my 14 year old run with me. I figure he is big and unless any potential ax murderers get near enough to us to see his dimples we are safe. The only drawback to this plan is that it is often impossible to wake him at 5am. (How does anyone sleep through me jumping up and down on his bed screeching, "Get up! Get up! We have to run!")

~It's early.

~An alligator is more likely to gobble me up in the morning when it is still dark.

Ok. Alligators probably can't jump up from the bayou to the bridge. They would have to resort to luring me to their lair saying, "PSSSST. Hey pretty lady. Want a cookie?"

(Yes. I like to think alligators find me attractive.)

(Again, just because you can't see the alligators in the pictures doesn't mean they aren't there.) So.....what do you think my best options is? Should I avoid the most rational fear, heat stroke, or the less likely, alligators, and axe murderers. And PUlease don't say run on the treadmill. This is a skill just haven't managed to master. And I know for a fact the possibility of me tripping and hitting my chin on the dashboard is greater than either alligator or axe murderer attack. I know because I have done it. People stared.


  1. Thanks for the running tip! Last time I ran, I did it in what was probably 5 minute intervals around the neighborhood. Run 5, walk really fast 5...Run 5. :)

    I would also be terrified of the alligators! I am so paranoid anyway, so I would be having the same thoughts. And I've heard of too many women becoming victims while running! Just be cautious and aware of your surroundings at all times! Oh, and I personally wouldn't swim in the outdoor pool, lol, but I loved your comment about your child being bait! LOL!

  2. Maybe you should get a treadmill :)

  3. Alligators would not be fun to find. Hopping over to follow you from follow me Friday, on Saturday.

  4. a few summers ago we were tubing down some river in georgia and i had my then 5 yr old on my lap when i thought i saw an alligator! i about died right there! thankfully it was a log but i kept my eyes wide open the rest of the trip!

  5. This is why I don't exercise. It's obviously deadly.

  6. Okay...I say avoid the heatstroke and carry a big stick for the alligators and ax murderers. Maybe a stick won't bout a club or a big can of mace or ... how do you feel about guns? I got one once as a gift...I never took it out of the box. I'd rather deal with the alligator head on than have to worry about shooting it.

  7. I don't like alligators either...I hate them. I'm glad I live up north where I don't have to worry about them.

  8. I have that same irrational fear of snakes. I run by a lot of wooded creeks and country roads---perfect places for snakes to swim and then sun themselves. I just KNOW they're laying in wait for me: "HA!! Here comes that crazy runner, Katie, LET'S GET HER GUYS!!" And here they come, all slithery and poisonous, chasing me down the trail...

    All right, I better quit. I'm getting myself scared! ; )

  9. I LOVE that pic ------------------> of your hubby and daughter on the couch! Shes so tiny! Or he's so big! LOL I think its the first one! LOL


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